My Rileigh Shea, Happy Birthday !!!

Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday, Rileigh Shea, Happy Birthday to you ! Your taotao loves you all the way to the moon! You are three today (february 28th), and we will celebrate with a 'doggy cake' and go to 'chucky cheese', as we did with lauren when she was your age. Only Lauren was afraid of 'chucky cheese'.........I love you, your taotao

With A Song In Her Heart

My phone rang this afternoon, and on the line was my niece, Sindi. She moved back to Oklahoma in September,'08 after several years absence. She is highly educated, has many accomplishments, & was hired with her company within two weeks of her arrival. She has had positive & negative concerns with her employer since she 'signed on', however, today, with the new stimulous package in effect, she now has an opportunity to actualy help people that her job was intended. I think from hearing her positive voice today, she will be very happy in her position. I am happy that she is happy....It's a good day.

Stallman Geneology

I'm getting new emails often from sissy barbara, showing me what she has done to 'update' her page on the Stallman Family History Page. She has done a wonderful job on her page........I have done nothing. I think she is trying to 'prod' me along......I MUST get busy! She & Marianne are planning this BIG FAMILY REUNION, and, I am looking forward to it. The last big one I remember was 1994. IT WAS HUGE! Vicki told me tonite that she & John, lauren & rileigh are planning a great vacation around the reunion, as I'm sure many other families are. So, I promise to 'get with it' and produce great information & pictures on 'my page'.....I'm just LAZY

The Dash

I received an email from Sara yesterday..(my daughter's Mother in Law) It is a poem from Linda Ellis titled 'The Dash'....I can't copy & paste it, but everyone should read it. I would like to think that 'my dash' means something to various people. I know in my heart that it does to some.

In retrospect, I have reflected on many dashes in certain people. It is a good thing to ponder.

Procrastination and Patience

I've always been heavy in the procrastination department, and quite light in the patience area.... but gradually learning my lessons in both. Oh, it's hard to teach old dogs new tricks!

Yesterday was our 'every six week's appointment' @ the VA hospital for gerald, (my ex-husband). I always have a talk with myself on the way to pick him up.......'now just remember, frances, this is going to be whatever it's going to be, it's the VA hospital after all'. 'You won't find a parking spot quickly, radiology won't call gerald's name until at least thirty or forty minutes after his scheduled appointment'....and then there is the possibility his blood work will not 'be up to par', and they may cancel his procedure.....this usually happens after we have been sitting around for at least three hours.......or, an emergency situation could pop up at any given moment, pushing his procedure back another couple of hours. So yesterday his appointment was scheduled @9:30. It is usually @8:00, but gerald moved it up in case we encountered bad weather. So great, this will give me time to run by the DMV & renew my EXPIRED drivers license! I needed to get that taken care of so I could replace my EXPIRED license plate. Both were supposed to be renewed by January 31. The DMV in my area opened at 7AM.......I arrive @ 7:30 (that gives me at least an hour to take care of business). I open the door & see about 80 people sitting & standing in line. Good God, this many people @this time of day? The sign inside the door reads: If you want to re-test....go to the re-test line, If you want a driving test, go to the drive line, all others, take a number. So, I walk past four people in front of me waiting to see the lady @the desk & reach for a number. 'excuse me, you can't take a number, you have to get back in line' says the lady. 'Oh, sorry...I thought the sign said'.......'no ma'am, get back in line'. So I did as I was told, & didn't even get huffy. It's my turn. 'I need your birth certificate & drivers license'. No problem, & she does the paper work & hands me my number...190. I take my seat & look up as a buzzer goes off & see the illuminated sign showing the next number in line: 153! I sit there until 8:10 & the new number flashing is now 161. Never mind, I'll just to come back later this afternoon. The lady takes my number back & tells me to keep my paper work & bring it back with me.

I pick gerald up @9:00 & we head for the hospital, drop him @the door & start my adventure to find a place to park. Had a lucky day, it only took about ten or fifteen minutes of inching my way thru the maze of automobiles to find a spot. We wait our normal thirty, forty minutes to have his blood drawn, go to the second floor to check in. The check in lady announces 'Mr. King is here.....Oh, okay.....sorry, Mr. King, there has been an emergency, it will be a couple of hours before we can get to you, or you can re-schedule'. 'No, I don't want to re-schedule', says gerald. So, okay, we have a couple hours to kill, it's around eleven, we'll run some errands....... I still have not lost my cool. We go by the antique shop and he places all the pocket watches he brought along earlier, we drive over to his bank & take care of business there. We've killed an hour and a half, time to go back to the hospital. They are ready and waiting on him. His surgical procedure takes an hour and a half, so I call my bff, Katy (who works across the street), we meet & spend an hour together 'catching up', laughing hysterically @ ourselves. It's now time to pick up 'woozy gerald', and drop by the super market for his list of items, take him home & visit for awhile. By the time I head for home, it's around 5:30. He thanks me again for taking him to these appointments. It is not a problem, and we always enjoy each other's company, and 'remembering our good times', and discussing current events.

So, I did quite well yesterday, no pissy moments at all. This morning I get up @5:30 so I have plenty of time to get to the DMV early. I arrive shortly after seven, show my paper work from yesterday. I get my number...249...look @the screen & it shows 230 is next in line. How can so many people be in front of me this early? 'Well, ma'am, they start lining up outside by 5:30 every morning'.......'Oh'. At 8:35 my number is called. I have all my documents out & step up to the counter. 'Mrs. King, you are a speeder!' says the Officer as he swivels the computer monitor my direction. 'Yes, I know I am', says I....'you have a full page of citations, in fact, you have a page & a half documented here', he says without even a smile. 'No way!, I know I speed, but I've only received four citations since moving back to Oklahoma in 2004'........'well, it's all here, and it also says your drivers license is suspended'. 'SUSPENDED? You cannot be serious, what on earth for, why didn't I receive notification'? 'I have no idea ma'am, but you're driving on an expired, suspended license, I can't help you....here's the number to the Department of Public Safety...you'll have to clear it up with them'. 'Okay, thanks........but I still don't understand a page & a half of documentation....I did not receive any tickets from 1987 thru 2003'.......'well, ma'am, these records go back to 1974'..........well, that explains that part! So I tuck my tail between my legs & go home. 'Hello, DPS'? 'Yes, how can I help you'? 'This is fran'.....'I need your DL#'...'It's blah, blah & blah blah blah & why is my license suspended'? 'Because you didn't pay a ticket on time, you have been suspended since April, 2008, we sent you a letter'. 'I never received a letter, and I went before the Judge & everything was paid & cleared'! 'No ma'am, everything was not cleared, you need to send us a money order for $50.00 to re-instate your drivers license'. I stayed calm and polite, but thought 'well shit, there's another procrastinating fifty damn dollars! I sent off my money order, so with luck on my side, & Friday the 13th gone, I will be able to re-instate my drivers license & get to the Tag Agency before my thirty day grace period expires on my license plate! Progress report: Procrastination: D Patience: A+

my old friends...are now, really old!

A few days ago, was the anniversary of the passing of my very good friend Costas Dalacos. He died three years ago and it was heartbreaking news from Lula. He & his wife, Lula were a fantastic couple, full of fun & laughter at all times. I used to love to visit them in Tarpon Springs, Florida. I met Costas in '70 or '71 while he and a couple of his co-workers, Joe & T.J., were FAA residents at Don Quixote, an apartment complex I managed here in OKC. They also followed me through the years to reside @ railhead......as did some of their children, also employed with the FAA. OMG!, what a crazy character Costas was! I think he was loved by everyone he encountered. During his tenure with the FAA, I made a few trips to Florida to spend time with he & Lula. I loved them, I loved their zest for life, their committment to one another, their humor. That humor & laughter filled every room everyday! And, the greek cooking lessons I would receive each visit. Gus would go out on the dock in their backyard, and catch fish. I loved going to PAPPAS' every visit. Tarpon is a wonderful Greek community.

'Gus' retired from the FAA in October, 1985. I was invited to attend his 'retirement party' as a speaker. My speach was only to read a poem I had written for him:

I have loved thee Costas, In my fashion:

I've composed a little ditty,

a poet I am not, it's a pity.

the day I first met thee,

was on tenth street @ Don Quixote

there was you, T.J. & Hampton,

with all those phone wires running rampton.

Remember how you borrowed my wig & dress

to wear to Glen's Hick'ry Inn & you caused such a mess!

and, the day from the Academy place,

when you pulled from your briefcase, a starter's pistol, to everyone's surprise

almost causing your instructor's demise?

And our canoe trips down the Illinios

taking the bus was only half the joy!

You were always our hiliarous 'MC'

introducing the joke 'wathy, wathy', by 'Madam Du Pwee'

and the summer when Lula came out

and the two of you, Joe & I

went to the 'Red Dog Saloon', what a 'bout'.

My trips to your home are always such a pleasure

no better Host & Hostess can I measure

I'll never foget our festive night @ The Sparta when we danced with glee

You even got me a date with Pappas' 'maitr'e d

I could go on and on, but I'm through

Only to remind you once again, that I love you.

speaking of parts...remember, barbara?

Since I'm on the topic of 'girl parts', and passing information along from generation to generation, I must include this one. When I was a young teenager living with gramma black (morgan) & her new husband, bill in the early '50's, we did not have running water..........well, we did sorta.....we had an indoor pump from our cistern sitting on a counter in the back porch. We took baths once a week in a big galvanized tub, sitting smack dab in the middle of the kitchen floor. We also had a small area with a stand, wash basin, mirror & medicine cabinet.

Gramma Black was one of the most positive persons on earth. She was jolly & happy.........always. Every morning she would sing me awake.......'when the red, red, robin goes bob, bob, bobbin along, along' and, whistle non stop. You know, the kind of high pitched whistle you do between your teeth. As I would groom myself in a wash basin, getting ready for school,( I learned this procedure from my best friend, Rosemary Card) Gramma would always say: 'now francie, remember to wash up as far as possible, then, wash down as far as possible, then WASH POSSIBLE'!

When lauren was around nine or ten, she came down to spend the nite with me. As she was showering, I hollered into the bathroom: 'remember to rinse all the shampoo out of your hair, and oh, be sure and scrub your whole body'. 'Don't worry taotao, I even washed possible'.

taotao....my 'po-po' hurts

Lauren may get upset with me for this post now that she is a teenager..nah, probably not, she knows me to well,

We have been trying to potty train rileigh shea and she is resisting big time. She kept saying her 'po-po' hurt. Vicki takes her to the doctor and she was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection. He prescribed her medication & tells vicki this is not unusual during potty training. In our family, your 'po-po' is your girl parts. I don't know the origination, probably came from my mother in law. I used the word with vicki when she was a baby, and she has used it with all three of her girls.

When lauren was around four yeas old, she walked in on vicki drying off from a shower. She is sitting on the sofa in deep thought with a concerned look on her face. When vicki walks in, lauren says 'mama, why do gills (girls, can't pronounce her R's) have hayeh on their po-po's'? 'Oh, I don't know lauren, they just do. 'When you get older and are a big girl, you will get hair on your legs, and under your arms, and, on your po-po'. 'Well, I don't want any on mine'! 'I know lauren, I didn't want any on mine either when I was little, but that is how God made us'. She sat there for a few minutes, smiled and said 'well, I guess it will be okay, at least it covers up the cwack'!

Thats our positive lauren!

taotao, taotao......taotao

I hear 'taotao' 'taotao', very loudly everytime rileigh shea enters my home. She will be three on the 28th. She thinks my home is just an extension of hers. Her mother brings her down around 7:30 three mornings a week & slides her in bed beside me. We have our routine, and it is great. I guess just being taotao (my name for grandma) is my identity now....which is fine with me. We have a wonderful bond. She NEEDS me. If a particular recorded TV program she is watching goes to commercial, 'TAOTAO'!, that means she needs me 'to come in here & fast forward through this commercial'. If her juice cup is empty, 'TAOTAO'!, that means she needs me for a refill. If she drops her 'boppy', 'TAOTAO'!, that means she needs me to 'come in here & pick it up for me'........and on & on. Some days are a breeze, and some days totally exhausting. Some days I love the silence! I am amazed at how quickly the past three years have gone by & how much she changes in just a week. How her little three year old mind operates......the new words and antics that appear when I haven't seen her in a few days.

Lauren is going to be fourteen this fall, and sometimes she needs me too. Yesterday morning my phone rings around 7:30.......'taotao'?..........'yes, lauren'.......'dad is not answering the phone, & I forgot my basketball jersey, & if I don't have it, I will have to run the stairs during practice.....will you go get it out of our dryer & bring it to me @the highschool gym'? 'Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes'........

This morning I'm still sawing logs zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. It's 7:30 & the phone rings.....'hello'.........'taotao? 'yes, lauren'....'I'm sorry, but I forgot my jersey again this morning' LAUURRRRENNNNNNN!! 'I know, I'm sorry, but I was running late & almost missed my bus', she says in her most pitifull voice......'where is.......'it's in the dryer' 'okay, I'll be right there'. She needs me too!

Self Imposed Identity Theft

I wanted to 'post' something today, however, nothing was entering my mind, and declined. Then, as I was just going through a stack of mail, tossing all the junk aside in a trash bag, I pulled some of it back out to tear up. I do have a shredder out in the garage & have never used it, says the 'Queen of Procrastination'. Thoughts of identity theft cross my mind, but, 'nah', tearing this up will be okay. Then I start thinking about 'my identity'.

Back in the days of managing an apartment complex (railhead) with 244 units, housing Federal Aviation Employees attending the Mike Monroney Aeronautical Center here in Oklahoma City, I was really making a name for myself. I was a very friendly 'hands on' effective manager. I had been managing FAA properties since 1969, but railhead was the brand new constructed property on the FAA list. We were the #1 choice of students from day one. I watched students come thru training, marry, have children, and saw some of these children come back to OKC for training & stay @railhead.....and they would say to me 'fran, do you remember me?, My family stayed here when I was 10 years old'. And, I always did. I had a great memory back then.....hell, I probabably could have told him his dogs name!...true story. We had an 80% repeat business. We were set up like a long term stay in a hotel, with all furnishings. We even owned & rented cars... We had functions every week, BBQ's, wednesday happy hour, kegs, BYOB, blackjack, tri-monthly 'theme parties' etcetera. I was the Pearl Mesta 'hostess with the mostest'....and it was a blast! It was a fantastic job!

But this fantastic job was taking a toll on me, & I wanted something else.......I knew this life of debauchery had to change, & I looked for 'a way out'. Well, my way out walked through the door to 'check in', March, 1987. He was from Guam. GUAM?, where in the hell is that? Long story short, I packed up and moved to Guam in August, 1988. We connected either in Oklahoma or the Micronesia islands every six weeks between '87 & '88. I was so in love with my native man from the islands. I made the decision to leave railhead & never look back. I studied Japanese with a group @one of the local library's, I went to school to become a certified 'travel agent', and passed both classes successfully. I'm getting prepared for Guam!

This is where the 'lost identity' comes in. When I arrive & we settle into our apartment, I decide not to even look for work because Bob has another school in OKC scheduled for October, and I want to go along. So, I just enjoy being absolutely lazy & become a beach bum.

When we return to Guam the end of November, It's time to 'buckle down' and find a job. OMG! I have not looked for a job in nearly twenty years!...It was a horrible experience! Haole's, (outsiders, especially white americans) are not received well at all..............'I'm a Nobody here.....I don't like it at all' I have all this experience, I have a professional resume, but, NEVER MIND! It was absoutely horrible! I was nothing to these people when I was applying for work, usually discarded after a very short interview. What is wrong?? I would be a valuable employee, for God's sake! I finally got a job as a sales representative for a wholesale distributor selling Longines & Fendi watches to the Duty Free shops & became the manager there before landing my General Manager position with six d enterprises, inc.

It was an eye opener that I never wanted to experience again. By the time I left Guam in 1999, I was 'A big fish in a small pond'. I was a member of Soroptomist International, on the board of The Cancer Society, was on the Board of Directors to at least five Homeowner Association groups, etcetera, etcetera......I had a new identity.

Some Asian Manners Are Blunt!

I usually have a manicure/pedicure once a month, sometimes it stretches to five weeks. I went in saturday, & it had been longer than five weeks. I only recognized one Vietnamese employee on this day. They were extremely busy, I sign in, & 'pick my polish'..........and wait, and wait. Finally it's my turn. 'You want manicure & pedicure'? 'yes'. 'You pick your polish'? 'yes'. 'Are you new here'?, I ask. 'Yes, I been here two weeks, my name Jolly. 'Jolly'?, 'no, Jolly'...'Oh, Charlie'? 'yes', scrub, scrub, scrub. 'Oh, it been long time since you had pedicure, right'? 'Well, it's been about six weeks', says I. 'Oh, ya, I can tell, your feet very bad......very bad'...issshhh.....scrub, scrub, very bad, he says as he makes a face. I am not offended because I know they are not THAT BAD! I know how some of you Asians are because I lived on Guam amongst you for nearly twelve years. I think the Vietnamese & Koreans are the most aggressive, the Japanese & Chinese, most polite, & the filipinos polite, but forward sometimes. I love the filipinos the most, probably because I understand their culture since I worked with a complete filipino organization for most of my time on Guam. I was the general manager for six d enterprises for several years. I loved my job & the six d family.

Back to manners & forwardness........Mr. del Carmen invited me to his second daughter's wedding. It was held in Manila, in February, early '90's........a grand affair. I was introduced to the infamous vice president Joseph Estrada......he was @Julie's wedding. Mr. del Carmen is a highly respected filipino. I was probably the only (maybe one or two more) Haole's there. It was a five day celebration. Mr del Carmen had a van & driver for some of us with planned outings. One particular morning, the van arrives at our hotel and the driver makes the announcement that we are going to 'Pagsanjan Falls'. What the hell is that? Well, as it turns out, it is one of the locations where 'Apocalypse Now' was filmed in the late 70's. So, off we go on a two hour drive. It is absolutely beautifull. We unload & head for the river. The boatmen are waiting for us........one or two passengers per boat, (they are like a wide flat bottom canoe) Each boat had two boatmen. We are headed for a thrilling four mile boat trip up the rapids to Pagsanjan Falls. I am a lone passenger in my boat. As the boatmen paddle off, they say very loudly....'Oh, you sooooo big!' I thought to myself: you little shitasses are probably only five feet tall & weigh about 95 pounds! They are not built like Americans! And, I was not THAT BIG!

Bye bill, write often, Bye bill..write us..Bye bill.

Barbara just wrote a blog about her son Bill @: http://itsmethingagain.blogspot.com/. He was mama's favorite grandson, my favorite nephew, & probably vicki's favorite cousin.

He came to Oklahoma City in the early eighties to live with me until he could find work, and start his new life. He had worked with his dad in the oilfields after graduating high school. That lasted a year or so, and he hated it. He wanted to do something in the medical field. He had a very 'happy go lucky' type personalty most of the time, but had his depressing times as well. I remember him being an avid writer of poetry during these times.

After a period of time, with no job in sight, he decided to join the Navy. He met with a recruiter, got all his ducks in a row, and received his papers to report to duty. We have our farewell breakfast & I drop him off at the designated place. We embrace one another.......'Bye bill, stay in touch'.........'I will, bye fran'. I head off to work & within an hour the phone rings. 'can you come & pick me up, there is a problem' he says. 'I'll be right there'. Turns out he was overweight & they could'nt sign him up. A couple of weeks go by and he has dieted his butt off. We have another farewell breakfast.......same song, second verse. 'Bye, bill, remember to write often.....don't worry, I will'. Rrrrrrrrring, rrrrrrrring, 'hello' 'Um, hello fran'? Yesss? 'Can you come back down here, I still did not make weight'. Another couple of weeks go by and the poor guy nearly starves himself! THIS TIME it's gonna be okay. This time Vicki joins us (& if my memory is correct,) Sindi was here too. We take him out for an elaborate dinner. By this time I'm accusing him of just wanting all these farewell meals :-) He had lost enuf weight this time that I knew I would'nt have to make one of those 'come back trips'. 'Bye, bill....stay in touch and write often' Off to Great Lakes Naval Station, Illinois, he went. He became a great Medic, excelled at everything he signed up for. He transferred to Camp Pendleton, California and was there until his Honorable discharge. Bill was homosexual and didn't 'come out to his parents' until the late eighties. He didn't want to disappoint them. Can you even imagine what he went through as a teenager and young man? I cannot. What do parents do who have a child with their blood running through this childs veins, and he is homosexual, and he is scorned, and he doesn't have the rights of your hetrosexual child? You love him unconditionally, that's what you do! That's what Barbara & Edwin did.

Bill passed on to be with God June, 1997. He wrote this poem for me about Vicki & I @ a railhead party in 1987:

I sat there in silence

watching the two of you

mingling amongst the crowd of people

both of you separated

only by the visible distance

enjoying yourselves with others.

living your own individual lifestyles

yet so willing to share both with one another

equally and openly, freely.

jealousy and frustration wracked my soul

as I watched the two of you

join each other in quiet conversation

spending a moment together, alone.

I envy such relationships

parent and child, friends.

talking openly, free of fear or criticism

heeding advice, giving support,

sharing love and concern.

no need for amends or regrets

a love not only begotten by parent and child

but as true friends.

Wanna Blow $$$$$$ & See A Movie?

Okay, I've had my fill of 'going to the movies' for a while. I love movies, the Bigscreen, & buttered popcorn. Movie passes were at the top of my Christmas list. Lauren obliged me, & I have seen several in the past month with each one getting more disappointing than the previous. Saw 'Australia' twice, and probably should have stopped with that one. Last nite's trip to the Moore Warren theater to see 'Revolutionary Road' was an absolute disaster. Our seatmates walked out, but we watched to the dreary ending. Vicki wanted to see 'Taken', but, noooooooooo, I thought Revolutionary Road was going to be great. Kate Winslet had just won a Golden Globe & a SAG for her performance, after all. Her performance was very good, but everything else sucked bigtime!

As I was starting my day this morning, 'The Way We Were' with Robert Redford & Barbra Streisand was coming on TV, so I recorded it. Now, there is a great movie! I was thinking about the title as it started playing........I used to have a placard hanging in my office @ Railhead that read: I wish I were who I was, when I wanted to be who I am now. And, it was true to me @the time, but no longer......I'm making my way back. (Vicki still makes fun of all the decoupaged sayings I had hanging everywhere). Remember this one? YESTERDAY'S GONE :-) Think I'll make some Orville Redenbacher & watch my great movie.