He came to Oklahoma City in the early eighties to live with me until he could find work, and start his new life. He had worked with his dad in the oilfields after graduating high school. That lasted a year or so, and he hated it. He wanted to do something in the medical field. He had a very 'happy go lucky' type personalty most of the time, but had his depressing times as well. I remember him being an avid writer of poetry during these times.
After a period of time, with no job in sight, he decided to join the Navy. He met with a recruiter, got all his ducks in a row, and received his papers to report to duty. We have our farewell breakfast & I drop him off at the designated place. We embrace one another.......'Bye bill, stay in touch'.........'I will, bye fran'. I head off to work & within an hour the phone rings. 'can you come & pick me up, there is a problem' he says. 'I'll be right there'. Turns out he was overweight & they could'nt sign him up. A couple of weeks go by and he has dieted his butt off. We have another farewell breakfast.......same song, second verse. 'Bye, bill, remember to write often.....don't worry, I will'. Rrrrrrrrring, rrrrrrrring, 'hello' 'Um, hello fran'? Yesss? 'Can you come back down here, I still did not make weight'. Another couple of weeks go by and the poor guy nearly starves himself! THIS TIME it's gonna be okay. This time Vicki joins us (& if my memory is correct,) Sindi was here too. We take him out for an elaborate dinner. By this time I'm accusing him of just wanting all these farewell meals :-) He had lost enuf weight this time that I knew I would'nt have to make one of those 'come back trips'. 'Bye, bill....stay in touch and write often' Off to Great Lakes Naval Station, Illinois, he went. He became a great Medic, excelled at everything he signed up for. He transferred to Camp Pendleton, California and was there until his Honorable discharge. Bill was homosexual and didn't 'come out to his parents' until the late eighties. He didn't want to disappoint them. Can you even imagine what he went through as a teenager and young man? I cannot. What do parents do who have a child with their blood running through this childs veins, and he is homosexual, and he is scorned, and he doesn't have the rights of your hetrosexual child? You love him unconditionally, that's what you do! That's what Barbara & Edwin did.
Bill passed on to be with God June, 1997. He wrote this poem for me about Vicki & I @ a railhead party in 1987:
I sat there in silence
watching the two of you
mingling amongst the crowd of people
both of you separated
only by the visible distance
enjoying yourselves with others.
living your own individual lifestyles
yet so willing to share both with one another
equally and openly, freely.
jealousy and frustration wracked my soul
as I watched the two of you
join each other in quiet conversation
spending a moment together, alone.
I envy such relationships
parent and child, friends.
talking openly, free of fear or criticism
heeding advice, giving support,
sharing love and concern.
no need for amends or regrets
a love not only begotten by parent and child
but as true friends.
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