What is this severe throbbing @the end of my legs?

Oh, that........that would be my feet. Having had the experience of shopping with my daughter since she was a teenager, you would think I would have learned my lesson by now, some thirty plus years later. But nooooooooo, I'm a slow learner.

Vick's sister in law, Shelly, is getting married June 14th, and it is a big deal in the Martin household. Shelly waited a long time to find her true love. The whole family will dress in Shelly's 'colors', and yesterday was the outing to find a dress for my thirteen year old granddaughter, Lauren. She is a tomboy and has been heavy into soccer since she was a small child. Her interests now include track and basketball. She is NOT into dresses, so this was reason enuf to tag along on this excursion. I bought her a beautiful crimson dress when she was five and was in her Christmas program. I doubt that she has worn a dress since then. Kinda like her taotao, I haven't worn a dress since 1983.

So, we head out around 2:30, with Rileigh Shea in tow, (she's three). Yes, she IS THREE, and that is about all I need to say about that. The first store was a total flop. I think the realization of actually wearing a dress was soaking in with Lauren. She turned her nose up at all suggestions, may have tried one on....and, looking @dress shoes was a whole other issue. And, let the games begin with Rileigh and taotao playing 'hide & seek' under the racks of clothing! Well, I'm not really playing, more like chasing, and scolding. I'm already getting a 'twitch', and realizing this was going to be a stressful outing, to say the least. Nothing there, so on to our second store, a small boutique. Lauren finds a dress in the right color, and kinda likes it, looks at me & says 'okay, taotao, I think we're done...this one is okay...c'mon, Mom, lets take this one'. But the shopper Vicki is, thinks we need the clerk to hold it for us while we check out yet another store.......off we go to our third department store. Oh My God!, it was like walking into a huge garage sale as far as I was concerned (Kohls). By the time we leave there without even finding a single garment to suit Lauren, it must be around six o'clock. Next stop is Gordmans department store & it was worse than Kohls. Then on to a shoe store........had good luck & found a cute pair of black patten leather flats that Lauren agreed to wear, so, back to our boutique. I'm thinking this is going to be quick because the clerk has our dress on hold. Wrong! Vicki & Lauren decide to check out the casual sports clothing. My swollen feet are hurting and, Rileigh is getting more out of control, so she & I go outside for fresh air. After thirty minutes or so of us 'playing' outside, I hear a horn honk, and it's Vicki & Lauren. I hobble to the curb & climb in. 'Mother, are your knees hurting'? (I had two knee replacements done four years ago). 'No, my knees are in great shape, but my feet & ankles are turning numb!', says I. Since being retired, I have been super lazy in the exercise department, and boy that laziness was rearing its ugly head yesterday. 'Are you hungry? I thought we would stop & get something to eat'. 'Well, yes, as a matter of fact I am, I skipped breakfast for a pot of strong ass coffee, so then I wasn't hungry by lunch time'

Off to the Deli we go and order a great meal. Miss Rileigh Shea is getting acquainted with all the customers in our area, 'hi, what's you name? I Rileigh Shea Maatin' etcetera, etcetera. It felt very good to sit for a spell & enjoy our good food.

We leave the Deli, and by now it has to be around seven thirty or eight o'clock. We are driving along and when I recognize a street sign, I'm thinking 'this is not the way home, we're going south, not west'. 'Vicki, are we going south to Norman'? 'Yes, Mother, we're on our way to Dillards, Lauren wants some 'Ed Hardy' perfume' 'You have got to be shit'in me......look @the time'! 'Oh, calm down, Mother, it's good for you to get out once in a while'.........We're in Dillards trying on more clothes..this time for Vicki. Finally I insist Lauren purchase her perfume so we can leave.........'the cashier's are counting out their cash registers for Christ's sake'.........let's go!....Rileigh is bugging me to take her back to the 'gum ball' machine where we stopped when we first arrived....'taotao, you got more money? Bebe want's more gum'.....Vicki & Lauren are laughing at me for my impatience, & I am telling them 'this is it...never invite me on another shopping trip'! We finally leave the store (have to, it's closing time)..........but it's not the end, we stop at McDonalds for McCafe for us & John & ice cream cones for Lauren & Rileigh........and, finally head home.

I drag my crippled swollen feet into the house, It is 10:05! Over seven hours of walking around department stores! I had stripped my bed & washed my sheets before leaving on our excursion, my mattress pad & un-pillowcased pillows were waiting. I didn't even bother to make my bed, I just crawled in. It was wonderful just to get off my aching feet. Then the McCafe coffee started to 'kick in'. I had to hobble to the bathroom every hour or so until three o'clock.

I love you, my darling daughter, but please do not invite me on another shopping trip for at least six months. I promise I will get out more, but in my own fashion........your muete